


Rude

by MadDormouse



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Blackrock Chronicles, Cabertown, Gen, Ravsiolis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1806994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDormouse/pseuds/MadDormouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Detective Nilesy investigates reports of missing Cabertown residents.  Mayor Ravs has a special way to deal with 'rude' people, hidden in the Cabertown mines.  Just be wary of what Ravs cooks up in his kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rude

"Good mornin' Mayor Ravs!" boomed a very familiar voice down the street.  
Ravs arched an eyebrow to locate his fellow Scotsman. The mayor of Cabertown was taking a regular late morning stroll through his small desert city. The native residents hurried along, now very use to odd people showing up and odd things happening. A quick-footed man running down the street and carrying a bucket labeled "sample pool" was now normal, all things considered.  
"Nilesy!" exclaimed Ravs, with a hesitant smile. "What brings ya back to Cabertown?"  
"I have not given up trying to convince you to purchase some pools for the good citizens of Cabertown," the raven-haired man replied. "And I have a new line of executive level pools I just had to show you. Everyone from Honeydew to Strife are after these beauties, but I wanted you to be the first to see them in person."  
"How thoughtful."  
"And I am prepared to offer a very reasonable deal, because we are friends," Nilesy said. The man looked up and down the streets, admiring everything. "And I did so want to visit Cabertown again. I missed the dry climate of this place. It's nice to see friends again!"  
"Em, well, that is nice," Ravs stammered. "I just wasn't expecting ya. I'd be happy to hear another proposal. I was just on my way to have lunch. Why don't I treat you?"  
"That would be phenomenal!"  
***  
Nilesy peeked around the corner of the hallway to the bathrooms to make sure no one would interrupt him. Ravs was speaking with a waitress, dressed in full body robes like every other resident of Cabertown, about getting a table. The pool salesman pulled out a notebook and leafed through the pages.  
While Nilesy directed most of his energies into the competitive world of pool sales, and more recently learning the craft of witchery, the Scot had also taken up the mantle of amateur detective. Pool sales were unfortunately down, though he would never admit it, and so far witchcraft with Lomadia hadn't exactly meant turning lead into gold.  
'A pool man has got to eat after all,' Nilesy reminded himself.  
That drive led him to staking out company and community notice boards. He didn't exactly see himself making a quick buck helping Hole Diggers Inc. mining resources or mucking through mud for Sips Co. He shivered at the thought of his last job interview for Sips Co.  
But then he found the missing posters all over the Cabertown announcement wall. Old postings about pets for sales and services wanted were now covered by dozens of fliers about missing loved ones.  
'Something is happening in Cabertown and only Detective Nilesy can solve it.'  
Nilesy rejoined Ravs at their table where the poolman promptly laid out laminated display photos of fancy pools. "I'll just leave these here for you to look over while we eat. So, what is the special of the day?"  
"Pasta al Ravs," squeaked the server, handing both Nilesy and Ravs menus.  
"Oh ho ho, already got a dish named after yourself," laughed Nilesy.  
The mayor shook his head. "It's nothing really. I've had dozens of things named after me in Cabertown."  
"Oh, well I think both myself and the esteemed mayor will have a Pasta al Ravs please," said Nilesy to the waitress. Once the cloaked figure was gone, the undercover detective moved the promotional pool shots in front of Ravs. "Have you been thinking about my offer for an executive pool? These things are going to be like hot cakes!"  
Ravs stammered in confusion. "How exactly, um, are pools like hot cakes? Do you mean jacuzzis?"  
"No, no, no," Nilesy laughed. "Unless you want a jacuzzi! Then I can do that too. I understand being mayor of a … bustling town can be very taxing. Which reminds me, as a friend I haven't visited you here in Cabertown for quite some time! So why don't we just chat for a bit before getting down to business."  
"Alright," the mayor shrugged. "How have you and Lomadia been?"  
"Oh, you know pretty good. We've just set up a new base because pirates evicted us and now we're on the most wanted list of the Magic Police, if you've ever heard of them," said Nilesy before finally taking a breath. "And what about Zoeya, Rythian, and Teep? Where are they?"  
"Ya know, Ah haven't actually seen them in quite a while," Ravs admitted. "They went off on some adventure and left me here."  
"Leaving you here with no pool to relax in while you worry about their safety and the safety of Cabertown," Nilesy said with a frown.  
Before Ravs could answer, the waitress placed plates of pasta before the two men. "Here you go, sir."  
Nilesy immediately started slurping up his food. Ravs eyed his friend in shock before starting to fork up some of the pasta in his name. The mayor almost felt silly for still being so shocked by Nilesy's behavior. Ravs' fork clattered to the table. A plump ravioli landed back on the plate looking up at him.  
"What is this?" Ravs asked the waitress.  
"Um … it's a ravioli," she replied in confusion. "Is there a problem?"  
"Whose idea was this?" the mayor asked.  
"Hey Ravs, there's a face on these raviolis," Nilesy chimed in. "In fact … almost looks like you."  
The pool salesman held up a pasta dumpling next to Ravs' face. "There is a striking resemblance."  
Ravs smacked the ravioli away and turned to the waitress once again. "Ah find myself overcome that someone would make a ravioli in my image. Now please don't make me ask again whose idea this was. That would be very … rude."  
The waitress' robes shaking betrayed how visibly scared she now was. "It was the chef. He did it to honor our great mayor!"  
"Would you please go fetch the chef?"  
The waitress scrambled back to the kitchen, sending a stack of pots and pans clattering to the floor. Moments later, a plump robed figure stumbled out clutching his chef's hat. He shuffled to Ravs' table where Nilesy continued to slurp up his pasta oblivious that everyone was now staring at them.  
"So the raviolis were your idea?" Ravs asked with a smile.  
"Ah, the … the Ravsiolis? Yes … yeah! I thought it was an excellent tribute to our esteemed mayor! The best mayor Cabertown has ever had!"  
"Technically Ravs, aren't you the only mayor Cabertown has ever had?" Nilesy interjected. "I mean, it wasn't Cabertown before you took over."  
Ravs ignored his friend. "Ah'm sure the thought was there. But Ah cannot help but find the gesture a little rude. It's a very sensitive issue for me. Ah think perhaps so time in the mines is in order?"  
As the chef started to protest, Ravs' tiny bodyguard, Jeeves, appeared from hiding out of sight. The golem gripped the chef's arm and escorted him out of the dinner. Nilesy finished eating his plate of pasta and patted his belly.  
"That was goo-ood eating. Aren't you going to finish yours?"  
Ravs shook his head. "Naw. Ah think I'll eat later. Let's finish talking over my daily walk of Cabertown."  
***  
"And each executive pool comes with a two year warranty guarantee," Nilesy was explaining as the two entered Ravs' mayoral mansion later that day. "The warranty however does not cover acts of Sjin. We call it the TNT clause."  
Ravs nodded, trying to juggle all the brochures and diagrams the salesman was handing him. The mayor dumped them on side table.  
"That's all very interesting, but Ah have to say Ah'm not completely sold at the moment," he said.  
"Oh, that's alright," said Nilesy. "It's a big decision to make."  
Jeeves wobbled into the room carrying a tray with two bowls on it. He perched the tray on top of the side table, covering Nilesy's papers. Ravs sniffed the steam rising from the bowls.  
"Soup?" asked Nilesy.  
"Yes. You could call it a gift from that chef to make up for his indiscretion earlier," Ravs explained. Smirking at Jeeves he added, "Ah'm sure he put his heart and soul into the soup de chef. Will you join me for a bowl?"  
The Scotsman shook his head. "Naw. I'd better be on my way then. Got a pool sale quota to fill after all."  
'Drat,' Nilesy thought as he shuffled out the mayor's house. 'Still no leads on the Cabertown disappearances.'


End file.
